Even long before embarking on my journey towards becoming a coach, I started valuing coaching for its special qualities, protected by the boundaries in which a coach can work. Cause as professional coaches we’re balancing across a narrow bridge, in humility and integrity. When we start being an expert — an eagerly helpful dispenser of answers who has understood it all — we stop being a coach. The work of coaching struck me in its light, natural precision that I hadn’t encountered in counseling or other formats before.

This is my personal take on what changes the game, helping to improve many lives: 

The coach’s provision of guidance and tools — mainly through questions and observations —, in full detachment from any outcome or decision of the client. While a best friend or family member may have opinions and an agenda, a coach creates a neutral container and holds presence that allows the client to explore — without being judged in their being. And without their actions being weighed up against external standards; against others’ mirrors and models, stories and specifications, patterns and paradigms. We are expressely trained in doing so consistently. How could it be otherwise, when being fully at the service of the client?

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The core belief in the resourcefulness & inner wisdom of every coachee — whom we hold as capable, resourceful and full of potential. Personally, I found a coach seeing me, and my potential & possibilities, the most powerful part of the experience. While I view the common definition of coaching as “focusing on the present as a way to change the future” as too restrictive, I do see a focus of coaching in tapping into resources & solutions available either now or in a different time. Just as I once witnessed being said: “You will always have weeds in the garden, so water the flowers in there.”

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The recognition that the coachee is the subject-matter expert of their life — carrying valuable expertise, answers and insights inside them. With a little help of a skilled witness, they can see where they stand and what’s most important to them, to then explore action that would support them best. The coachee is responsible for their own choices. The coach helps them in accessing their resources — leading to a fuller range of perspectives and choices which might not have been available earlier, or that the client wasn’t able/ready to take hold of. (Please note that trauma-informed coaching does NOT require action to be present at all times; as a coach we challenge clients, we never push for results or give homework.)

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The focus on the full individual (we coach the person, not the problem). Thus, even if a client comes in with a defined problem, transformational coaching will invite a deeper exploration. The coach will challenge softly to bring in a bigger perspective and facilitate forward movement, all while keeping a focus on what the person is in control of (see more in the next question).

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The curious questioning — the special way of coaching. We investigate, we don’t interrogate. Every question is in the service of the client’s awareness and action; none is there to quell our own eagerness to know more. As a book I swallowed on my journey (Co-Active Coaching: The Proven Framework for Transformative Conversations at Work and in Life) puts it beautifully: “Curiosity is open, inviting, spacious, almost playful…Curiosity in coaching allows coach and coachee to enter the deepest areas of the coachee’s life, side by side, simply looking, curious about what they will find.” 

Differently from (some? most?) counseling approaches, a coach will scrap the monologues and dive straight in, asking the right questions at the right time in reponse to the unique story presented by the client. Coaches are trained in powerful questioning techniques that uncover deeper insight, while also being aware of all the types of questions to avoid (and the moments when deepening isn’t the way). 

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The training in & awareness of levels of listening, leading to a full attunement with the client — our attention fully with them and in our current environment.

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The support offered by the coach in accessing inner & outer resources. While the coachee is the expert of their life, the coach can offer observations & tools inside the coaching session and – depending on the agreement – also as homework. Accessing outer resources may include truly simple things like drawing the attention of the client to something physical in their environment, when they are flooded and/or struggling to stay in the present. Cause there are more resources available to us beyond those inside our bodies 🙂

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The comfort with change and the unknown. The coach doesn’t have all the answers, thus the coach-client relationship is meant to lead to eye-level conversations. 

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I love how trauma-informed coach Susana Rinderle describes professional coaching: “the facilitation of a client’s self-discovery through provocative questions, insightful observations, and invitation to action”. By encouraging self-validation, connecting clients with their resources and providing powerful questions/tools, coaching prevents dependency (on a self-awareness level, not just in terms of action & tools!) and enables clients to support themselves beyond the coaching relationship. An effective coaching environment is “safe enough for coachees to take the risks they need to take” and “is a courageous place where coachees are able to approach their lives and the choices they make with motivation, creativity and commitment” (Co-Active Coaching book, as mentioned above). 

Unfortunately, a lot. A lot of retraumatizing stuff that is. I have extensively studied this subject, coming back to the question: “How do we ensure that the client feels safe?”.  As a little clarification of terms, retraumatization refers to reliving stress reactions experienced as a result of a traumatic event when faced with a new, similar incident.

Here is an incomplete list for the purpose of understanding that if this happened to you, then it might be your moment to give trauma-informed coaching a try. Your experience is valid, and you deserve to feel seen & taken care of at all times. 

💥 Pitfalls of non-trauma-informed coaching, here we go (disclaimer: I know truly amazing coaches in the wider community doing very valuable work; this list has the purpose of normalizing the experience of clients with a history of trauma and doing a better job at serving *everyone* in a safe way): 

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1️⃣ The coach may see a client’s behaviors as passive, self-sabotaging ❌ or escalating — when they’re actually normal, predictable, and adaptive ✔️ (hi, shame!). I personally don’t ever use the terms ‘self-sabotaging’, ‘inner saboteur’ & Co. and encourage others to do the same. Alternatively, I find the concepts of Internal Family Systems (parts work) extremely helpful, knowing that parts in us exist to fulfill a service. There is nothing to fight, numb or get rid of.

And language has always held the power to catch life in its magnitude — or clasp a narrative a little too tight; to stop breath — or help us breathe deeper. Remember that language isn’t just there. Language carries blur or clarity, translates into things, forges reality, and matters. Substantially.

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2️⃣ When a coach isn’t aware of trauma and how it shows up, they can miss, dismiss or misinterpret a client’s cues — leading to the mention of oversimplicistic solutions that only address a symptom (if at all), or missing a flooded / overstimulated / triggered state altogether which then can create more overwhelm, insecurities, shame, distress etc. for the client. 

If the parts of the coachee that come up in the moment aren’t met with compassion, this can easily lead to the development of compensatory behaviours that layer on top. These represent unsustainable ‘solutions’ that may leave clients feeling like they’re not trying hard enough (= experiencing guilt), especially if the ‘solution’ loses its power after the session is over. The client can be left to face any underlying issues like fear of failure alone — cause the idea of failure & what they might do in the face of it to achieve a solution or an ideal image wasn’t even mentioned in the coaching. 

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3️⃣ The survival strategies of the client might stimulate those of the coach, Once instantly dysregulated, the coach may then become intellectualising or a bit persecutory, feel helpless / stuck / disoriented / confused / controlled / distanced / dismissed and undermined, not know which question to ask next, rush in as a rescuer, use lots of tools to seem as if they are doing something, push too hard or stand back too much etc. They may cling even closer to the change agenda, determined to not ‘give up’. Or they may see their usually calm tone of voice turn towards a brusque note, a sudden harshness. In pushing too hard, the coach may fail to respect the ‘resistance’ of the client. 

As trauma-informed coach Susana Rinderle has already put into words, a well-meaning push like “I think you’re more capable than you realize. I believe you can push through and still take action!” can trigger a cocktail of high alert, a shame spiral and grief. On the latter, the client may then find one more confirmation for an experience and narrative in which no-one sees and understands them. They’re alone in the world.

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4️⃣ The coach may unknowingly pull the client into a traumatic memory — leaving them dysregulated / flooded or even retraumatized. I like to keep questions open, without assuming that a specific moment in their past may be the one yielding helpful insights (this is a sign of professional, not necessarily trauma-informed coaching). Since coaches are less concerned with the story by nature, retraumatization is more likely to occur during in a different type of exploration — while raising awareness of bodily sensations and feelings. 

Asking the client to keep paying attention to their experience may not be what they need at times to move forward & stay in their window of tolerance. Quite on the contrary, this can activate & perpetuate the cycle of the trauma-stress response. «More isn’t better. We need to sometimes back off, moving out of the deepening» — in the words of trauma professional & coach David Treleavan.

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5️⃣ The client may experience shame (belief about our unworthiness as a person), guilt (the feeling of responsibility or remorse for an act), blame (assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong) because of any of the reactions of a dysregulated and/or frustrated coach. In a state of activation, the things we need most to move forward are the ones to dwindle first: curiosity, calm, creativity and connectedness. The coach may ask less curious, more guarded questions. The trust, safety, intimacy may fade. The relationship may break.  

The biggest inspiration for this section has been coach & therapist Julia Vaughan Smith as well as online sources based on her work. Go read her seminal book “Coaching and Trauma: From surviving to thriving”! Another great resource is trauma-informed coach Susana Rinderle, whose views I fully support. 

Many clients just need to be held.

The trauma-informed approach walks the extra steps to offer even better coaching. Trauma-informed coach Susana Rinderle has said it perfectly: “A trauma-informed coach is better equipped to meet a coachee where they are, in the fullness of that person’s experience and context.” With a special lens to understand the coachee’s behaviour, and an advanced skillset to help them navigate their reality. The key is not only avoiding harm, but repairing it when it does happen — cause we’re all human. 

As of now, trauma-informed coaching is not an official standard in the coaching industry, but I can already envisage a future in which awareness of trauma (in everyone, very much including executive leaders) will be mainstream and expectations towards coaches will change. 

This is my own take, inspired by everyone I could learn from, on what makes trauma-informed coaching special and why it is necessary: 

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1️⃣ THE UNDERSTANDING OF TRAUMA, how it may show up in the sessions and in clients’ lives, and how to respond as a coach within the established boundaries & agreements is key. Cause with trust and a safe safe, unhealed trauma and chronic stress will take the stage. 

As trauma-informed coaches, we understand that survival has a purpose, and that the trauma responses of the client are adaptive. We respect the survival self that shows up in coaching – in its bodily sensations, ‘resistance’, stories of unhealthy behaviours busting all personal boundaries or unreasonsable demands to others, and more. We know that the survival self helped someone get to where they are today. Coping mechanisms have a reason — often responding to unacknowledged pain. When there is shame around how our systems respond or react, we can help clients reduce shame by normalizing how our nervous systems put survival needs above everything else. 

Trauma and chronic stress may – or may not – be the focus of the coaching engagement, or any one session. Whatever the topic may be, we know that clients with a trauma story are especially skilled at detecting any hint of rejection – making a mindful regulation of our own responses even more indispensable (see last point). Whatever we do, we do with (self-) compassion.  

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2️⃣ THE RELATIONSHIP in which the coach is deeply committed & trained to stay present (without emotionally drawing back, becoming entangled in their own survival self, triggering feelings of rejection through behaviour read as dismissive etc.) creates a space in which a client feels safe to experience discomfort and grow from it. This relationship has a profound, integral focus on safety, trust, equity and choice. If we’re ok with it all, anything that may happen, the client feels that. 

We do challenge our clients because we want the best for them — but we do it with the proper understanding and relationship. And we always, ALWAYS, honor their experience. In full empathy and compassion. 

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3️⃣ THE HOPE in something different, something better; this is a ticket into the future. In my own understanding of trauma-informed coaching — which doesn’t require clarity in direction or goals from the client — I’m inspired by the words of grief therapist & expert David Kessler: “Until you can find it, I’ll hold it for you. I have hope for you.” I strongly believe in the power of coaching even in the darkest times (respecting all boundaries), cause I’ve experienced it myself. 

As coaches we hold hope and perspective, exploring possibilities without the need to always translate them into action. Deeper-than-usual explorations of meaning and purpose can fuel this hope. This is also about avoiding unrealistic expectations, e.g. when asking clients to imagine a better future they’d want. As a smart collegue once put it: the success lies in the client finding hope in their own imagination and initiatiave, which is a resource to draw on to find solutions to all the future trials along the way, and NOT in them walking out with perfect visions (to then struggle when they’re not reached or the road there is a tortuous one 😕). 

This fits well with Hope Theory (by Snyder), which breaks hopeful thinking up into three key components — goals, multiple pathways to them & the belief in our agency. And agency is the most flexible resource there — one we also need to extricate ourselves from retraumatizing contexts, relationships, or roles. In hope, the person isn’t fortune-telling, but feels the agency to make an effort or keep going on their path — with resilience; and they believe that this can lead them to favourable outcomes. They feel their self-efficacy. We challenge clients to expand their field of vision, a view on what seems possible, without requiring a leap towards a far-removed ‘ideal state’. 

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4️⃣ THE WILLIGNESS TO GO SLOW — cause in trauma, slow is fast. We don’t ever push. And since we’re trained to recognize trauma, we know how to help the client in the distressing moments and go extra slow in them, dropping any expectations. «This is here now. Let’s include that.» — in the words of trauma professional & coach David Treleaven. We slow down WITH the client. We remember that we don’t need to go anywhere, unless the client is ready to. Them showing up can be more than enough. 

We respect their ‘resistance’, know the obstacles that may present themselves and meet everyone where they are — in the fullness of their experience and context. The reality they go back to once the session is over. As we learned in coaching class: “we co-create a safe space together (at the client’s pace) and move as slowly as needed” & “we utilize and introduce tools, techniques, and curious questioning to support the client in processing solutions for themselves”. Depth, speed and ways of processing will vary depending on experience, situation, neurotype and more. 

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5️⃣ THE COACH’S COMMITMENT TO HEALING: A trauma-informed coach is on a journey ⛵— not only with you, but with themselves. They have strong commitment and skills around self-regulation and co-regulation. Ultimately, they help the client stay regulated themselves and swim back to land towards the end of a session, even after deep explorations requiring lots of processing (go slow! see above). And they are very aware of their own trauma and how it shows up; this is the healing they work on in their own lives — to then model a different, healthier way for their clients. As it happens. 

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For me, trauma-informed coaching goes beyond safety, presence, relationship and a solid trauma lens. It is very much about providing a process of exploration that is maximally adapted to the client. I don’t believe in blanket approaches, replicating the medical model, and value a good understanding of the situation. Then I can dive into explorations and avoid subconsciously making assumptions or reaching for low-hanging solutions. 

In the trauma-informed coaching methodology, as taught by Moving the Human Spirit, the session is held as a reflective, safe and compassionate space in which the coach invites the client on an exploration and gives back what they see in them.

Usually, a session would include a clarification of a desired change (ensuring focus & a common understanding of the subject) as well as a closure with learnings, commitments and helpful steps to take. Thus the client walks away with a deeper understanding of themselves — be it resources, needs, emotions, the impacts of their past, nervous system regulation tools, values, aspirations, new possible pathways and much more — as well as a concrete focus and/or steps that they can take once the session is over.

A trauma-informed coach is trained to hold space through anything that may come up. Silences, spontaneous changes in direction, emotional expression like tears in the presence of the coach are fully ok. A session can expressely be on a trauma topic of the present (in my own view on trauma-informed); what happens usually, is that clients bring up topics from different areas of their life across the journey.   

Sessions typically run for 30min or more (up to 2 hours in my case) without interruptions; the depth and process will vary depending on the length. Typically a series of e.g. 6 sessions is recommended to dive into different aspects important to the coachee and circle back to key topics; all while allowing life and more exploration to happen between sessions. 

The ICF Core Competencies represent the gold standard in coaching. As defined by the International Coaching Federation, there are eight of them spanning across four topics: 

1. Demonstrates Ethical Practice (Foundation)
2. Embodies a Coaching Mindset (-“-)
3. Establishes and Maintains Agreements (Co-Creating the Relationship)
4. Cultivates Trust and Safety (-“-)
5. Maintains Presence (-“-)
6. Listens Actively (Communicating Effectively) 
7. Evokes Awareness (-“-)
8. Facilitates Client Growth (Cultivating Learning and Growth)

You can read more HERE.

As trauma-informed coaches trained by MTHS, we are required to demonstrate personal integrity and honesty in all interactions with coachees, sponsors and relevant stakeholders. We abide by the Code of Ethics of the International Coaching Federation and its Core Values, use appropriate and respectful language, maintain confidentiality.

We are sensitive to the coachee’s identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs. We avoid discrimination by maintaining fairness and equality in all activities while respecting local rules and cultural practices.

Also, we uphold the distinction between coaching / counseling / psychotherapy and other support professions. 

Meeting the ethical standards is a necessary behaviour for all coaches trained inside an ICF-coaching framework and is covered by the first core coaching competency (see the question above) — requiring the consistent application of standards. 

The ethical principles cover the responsibilities to clients, to practice and performance, to professionalism and to society. 

The Code of Ethics applies for any coaching-related interaction (of coaches, coach supervisors, mentor coaches, trainers or student coaches-in-training). 

You can read more HERE.

This will very much depend on the details of the situation, the relationship there is between coach and coachee, and the skill-level, specialization and capacity of the coach. When a trusting relationship exists in which much work has already been done, one would be more inclined to look for solutions inside of it — adding outside help as appropriate — instead of rushing to a referral as a first option. Personally, I was coached while receiving counselling at the same time. 

Ultimately our interest as coaches is always to ensure that our clients receive the best support possible; this includes referral to therapists, more experienced coaches or ther modalities. I would only refer to trauma-trained therapists, wherever the presence of trauma is evident, and keep in mind that therapy is NOT the right for modality for all; even when they are struggling. Instead I first see how a client could expand their relevant support options. A professional coach will be honest with themselves about what they can do vs what they don’t have the capacity / training etc. for. 

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The International Coaching Federation has defined Top 10 indicators to refer a client to a mental health professional: 

1. The client is exhibiting a decline in his/her ability to experience pleasure and/or an increase in being sad, hopeless and helpless.
2. The client has intrusive thoughts or is unable to concentrate or focus.
3. The client is unable to get to sleep or awakens during the night and is unable to get back to sleep or sleeps excessively.
4. The client has a change in appetite: decrease in appetite or increase in appetite.
5. The client is feeling guilty because others have suffered or died.
6. The client has feelings of despair or hopelessness.
7. The client is being hyper alert and/or excessively tired.
8. The client has increased irritability or outbursts of anger.
9. The client has impulsive and risk-taking behavior.
10. The client has thoughts of death and/or suicide.

To the list of indicators. 
They are are called indictors for a reason; this means I will not automatically refer in these situations. 

This would require a longer answer. The short one: Being “trauma-informed” is usually associated with following the “Six Principles of a Trauma-Informed Approach“, known by the acronym SAMHSA. These provide a framework for organizations to develop a more supportive environment for those who may be affected by trauma; a trauma-informed workplace culture.

SAMHSA is grounded in four assumptions and six key principles: 

The assumptions:

1. Realize the widespread impact of trauma and understand potential paths for recovery.
2. Recognize the signs and reactions of trauma in clients, families, staff, and others involved with the organization.
3. Respond by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices.
4. Resist re-traumatization

The key principles: 

1. Safety — creating an atmosphere of mutual respect & trust, assessing the environment for risks & dangers, sharing clear guidelines. Safety is both physical and psychological/emotional.  
2. Trustworthiness and transparency — preparing people for changes that will affect them in the workplace. 
3. Peer support — creating spaces for people with shared identities to connect. Educating or enabling people to access resources and support systems is also key.
4. Collaboration and mutuality — committing to collaboration more than the outcome itself, especially when differences of opinion arise.
5. Empowerment, voice and choice — providing individuals with the skills and resources necessary to speak their truth and make decisions about their experience at work. And bringing those to the table who will be impacted by the decisions to be made. 
6. Cultural, historical and gender issues — understanding the history and experiences of groups of people. Eventually, this allows organisations to make better-informed decisions and prevent trauma in the workplace.

Key sources: Practical Guide for Implementing a Trauma-Informed Approach (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration), Blog of the Trauma Informed Institute

PS: Please note that in and beyond coaching different definitions of ‘trauma-informed’, ‘trauma-aware’ and ‘trauma-sensitive’ exist. 

Professional life coaches are certified (or even accredited with a body like the ICF), have no agenda or attachment to the outcome of the coaching work, abide by high standards of ethics and competency, and are dedicated to ongoing learning and development. 

I don’t personally support — practise or explicitly refer clients to — coaching practices that are lead my persons without a certification in the field. Or that are promising specific, quick results. Or that derive implications for the clients from outside their inner resources, their life experience and their own awareness supported by psychoeducational tools (thus I don’t support charts, readings etc. as sources of awareness). This is my personal view, as a person grounded in science and logic also beyond my academical background. 

Since we hold every client — regardless of any presence of unhealed trauma, and setting our own view of the world aside whenever we coach — as a resourceful, capable, creative and whole individual, I trust that everyone will find the modality that helps them best in the current period of their life. 

I also believe that trauma-informed coaching approaches will become necessary prerequisites for all practising coaches, to serve every client best possible and avoid retraumatization. There’s big responsibility in this — on the levels of professional training and of personal development equally.